saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize