i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think I won the penis lottery.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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