So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
