I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize