you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
As shirtless as possible
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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