I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
