My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
