grandma shit on top of the toilet
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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