whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
3 2 1 whiskey
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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