He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's never too late to be topless.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You made out with two different species that night
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
