I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Randomize