One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize