i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
