Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
