That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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