ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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