Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
