we have officially lost it.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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