We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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