the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
