u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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