Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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