he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
