I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
