I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
