yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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