if i can run in heels then i can drive
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
