but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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