I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
