I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
