it wasn't lemon gatorade
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
