i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
