11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Little spoons don't ask big questions
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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