"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
