Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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