just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
