White coat. Heels.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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