how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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