she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize