she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
