I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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