My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
