ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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