I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
