He told me they were just razor bumps!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
