Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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