i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
