he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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