Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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