Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
This baby is an asshole
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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