i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
