I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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