I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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