i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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