Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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