if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
