he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
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