We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
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I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
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Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.