K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize