It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.