Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.