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• (512): View more from Texas

  OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  "must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (415): View more from California

  Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  You would be my first round pick for a drinking team

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night

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• (258): View more from

  You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?

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• (631): View more from New York

  You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up

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• (585): View more from New York

  I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later

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