he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom