But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
