Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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