i wish peter jackson would direct porn
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How does one acquire holy water?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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