He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
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somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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