i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
