He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize