this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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