So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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