I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
